cma awards

holy crap... anyone watching the cma awards? talk about one big pile of ass all lumped into what i only can imagine is a little bit of heaven on earth. i am just sitting hear wishing carrie underwood would fart on my head. i mean to tell you im worked up... not one ugly in the crowd. it takes everything i have in me not to throw a beer bottle through the tv because i hate the music so much but, oh that beautiful room of ass just keeps me going.
 id like to show joanna garcia 8 seconds.. that lil hillbilly mmm mmm mmm. that girl from sugarland id like to be stuck on you. taylor swift makes me stiff...
 And all this greatness just got ruined as steph just walked out of the bathroom after taking a duece with some green shit all over face.
 im back... miranda lambert could drop a steamer right on my chest and that would be the best part of my week. hell id even let reba give me a handy.
 tomorrow i buy a cowboy hat and some spurs. now im out to do bad bad things

stinky smoker

  I was informed on a live international radio show that I smelled bad! I was beat down for about 5 minutes on the fact that I was a stinky mcstinkerston. Im used to being the person giving the beatdowns and this time I was helpless, I just sat there and listened to Manson and Spice and Ned and Bubba tear me down. I felt like such a dirt bag. Im a grown man and I felt like the stinky kid and for good reason, I do! I have for a long time and been told by the people that love me but, it took those four assholes for me to listen. My girls have told me they they were stinky because of me. Yet I refused to listen I didnt care that the people that I love the most were hurting because of me. Yet it took these four homos busting my balls for me to care.
 Now I dont know how pathetic that makes me but, Im guessing its up there. I have tried everything to quit smoking and tried a thousand times and when it comes down to it its lack of will power. I have over come many things without even thinking about it but, smoking has been that ball and chain that I could just not break free from.
  I guess its all excuses as to why I dont quit. Bad day, my boss stressed me out, the kids were not being good, money trouble, girlfriends bitching, wifes bitching, girlfriend friends bitching about my wife, wifes bitching about my girlfriend.  I think you get the point. there is an excuse everytime. Everytime I find a reason to light up another one. I find reasons to fail and convince myself that it is ok because of the " problem " I had that day.
 Im laughing right now because Im so pathetic. I am never going to smoke again after I finish this blog and that is a promise. at this point ive been writing for an hour and three minutes... lol
 So this world is my promise. From now on I will only smell like ass, feet and ball cheese. Never again will I smell like a dirty ashtray.
 I dont care what happens tomorrow. Nothing will get the best of me I will never make up another reason to smoke... 1 hour 24min... out

dreaming

   I have had my fair share of crazy dreams. I had the dream of being in a sauna with a beautiful girl only to wake up in the top bunk with a fatty and the power was out and i had wet the bed. I have had dreams latley that I am best friends with the Manning brothers and I help their parents milk cows while they are at practice. i have bad nightmares every time i watch a scary movie. i had a dream that my penis was made of cheese and fivle ate it. I swallowed a piece of gum and had a dream that i had the farts and flew to the moon and cher was there. i had a dream that i was in a wheelchair but it was my arms that did not work and my legs were fine but i couldnt lift myself out of the wheel chair and i was just stuck there. i had a nightmare that i was ugly. i had a dream that i won 200 million dollars and bought an island and johnny depp replaced all the sand with cocaine. ive had dreams that i lived back home ( pesotum ) and it was like living in the 1800s ( or was that just my last trip home )  i had a dream that i was on the bubba the love sponge show and i got naked in front of 300 people and let david weathers ( from jackass ) had a 4 ft gator bite my testicles. i had a dream that i ran the boston marathon while filming man vs food with that fat guy on the food channel and we ate our way through boston. i had a nightmare that i ate a 20 pound steak and john goodman sewed my butt shut while i was asleep. i had a dream that janessa brazill was fondling herself in the shower while i watched but i was wearing a diaper.
 i have never had the dream that i was laying in bed kissing and doing " other stuff " with julie warfel beatty in a bed full of red lobster cheddar biscuits.... i am the only adult at this address that can say ive never had this dream.

 Augie Meneley
 Stephanie Gilmore
18002 richmond place drive
tampa fl 33647